I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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