His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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