have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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