I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
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