Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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