Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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