so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
