M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
