She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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