Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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