I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
my being single is dangerous.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
