she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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