We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
