its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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