dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
