next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
