He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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