Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
