I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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