i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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