I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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