I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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