What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
