so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
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