I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
