Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
