So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Randomize
