I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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