Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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