my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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