8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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