toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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