How is your vagina???
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN