Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You can't wash away shame.

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  I can try.

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  (781): You can't wash away shame. (1-781): I can try. http://tfl.nu/os07
  Replies (8) Good night (1335) Bad night (583)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?

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  (614): youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right? http://tfl.nu/3ekq
  Replies (19) Good night (700) Bad night (1762)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.

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  (503): Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve. http://tfl.nu/pov9
  Replies (21) Good night (4905) Bad night (1279)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.

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  (314): Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me. http://tfl.nu/jiov
  Replies (11) Good night (744) Bad night (3003)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.

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  (616): There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by. http://tfl.nu/au1s
  Replies (16) Good night (4683) Bad night (1451)
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  (631): View more from New York

  OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester

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  (631): OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester http://tfl.nu/vz3v
  Replies (16) Good night (1040) Bad night (4101)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade

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  (630): I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade http://tfl.nu/zmei
  Replies (22) Good night (4590) Bad night (1730)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.

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  (519): he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today. http://tfl.nu/4qok
  Replies (4) Good night (3254) Bad night (656)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.

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  (304): I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad. http://tfl.nu/mnuf
  Replies (4) Good night (1258) Bad night (652)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.

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  (636): it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa. http://tfl.nu/cslo
  Replies (19) Good night (1702) Bad night (464)
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  (518): View more from New York

  hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.

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  (518): hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person. http://tfl.nu/wx7g
  Replies (2) Good night (935) Bad night (442)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth

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  (701): This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth http://tfl.nu/r917
  Replies (12) Good night (854) Bad night (574)
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  (+39): View more from

  scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer

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  (+39): scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer http://tfl.nu/n0yh
  Replies (3) Good night (872) Bad night (295)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Is this a considering it or regretting it text?

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.

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  (318): My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter (504): Is this a considering it or regretting it text? (318): I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me. http://tfl.nu/wpzn
  Replies (3) Good night (415) Bad night (896)
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  (951): View more from California

  oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.

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  (951): oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin. http://tfl.nu/odt8
  Replies (2) Good night (634) Bad night (226)

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