Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
