Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
