Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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