Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
