And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
