I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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