Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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