She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
