So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
