We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
