sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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