omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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