I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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