oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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