this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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