Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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