Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
bring money and cleavage
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize