Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize