You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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