"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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