at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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