I'm passing your future prison.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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