Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
