That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
pray to the hookup gods
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
