on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
