its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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