Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
