Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
