I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Porn is love you can see.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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