Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
