She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: eviction party
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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