I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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