She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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