You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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